Shattered
by Venka le fay
Summary: Set after Invasion. The Turtles, Casey, and April are now a makeshift family or orphans. After they are forced to flee the city, can they repair their shattered family or will they fall apart?
1. Chapter 1

Shattered

Set just after invasion.

Don't own TMNT in any of it's incarnation

**A/N This is a bit of a rewrite of this fic, particularly since we now have more of an an idea of what the layout of the farm house looks like. **

**From the downstairs level I gather we have the sitting room, the foyer with stair case I'd imagine that there is a guest toilet underneath the stairs, dining room and kitchen. **

**Upstairs we have the bathing room, and the guest rooms. Now the "In Dreams" Episode we were able to see a small guest room. But given the size of the house I'd wager there are four rooms at max. So that would mean April has her own room, Casey had his own room until Leo woke up, now he's sharing it with Mikey and/or Raph. Leo has his own room or shares it with Raph. And Donnie has a tiny room to himself.**

**As for the time like I'd say it was around November when they left New York as it was fall but there is some frost and snow. So perhaps a couple weeks before Thanksgiving. **

* * *

><p>Silence blanketed the old VW van as it carried them down the road, away from the city, away from the destruction, away from everything they had ever known.<p>

Kirby was a kraang mutant, the lair was destroyed...possibly beyond repair, Splinter was gone. They all strongly held onto the hope that Splinter had survived being tossed into that drain, but even Mikey's unshakable optimism was rattled by all that had happened. For all they knew he was dead, leaving them for all intents and purposes orphans. Casey's father and sister were missing and more than likely were casualties of the Kraang invasion.

Right now the dark haired boy was staring straight head as he drove on into the night. His eyes hard in his placid face, come hell or high water he wanted the see the Kraang and the Foot Clan pay for what they had done to his family…his friends…his city.

April leaned against the passenger side door sleeping, a soft sniff or whimper telling everyone she was taking this time to grieve over what had been lost. The lair was a second home to her and Splinter alike a second father to both humans. The loss of both the lair and Splinter combined with the loss of their own families weighed just as heavily on the two humans as it did the Turtles.

Of the Turtles only Raph and Donnie were still awake. Mikey was curled up against Raph's body taking comfort in his brother's presence. Raph would just watch his baby brother as he slept, softly rubbing his hand in comforting circles along Mikey's arms or shell. Other times his eyes would get this distant look of determination that someone had to be the strong one for the sake of his family.

Donnie on the other hand remained by their wounded brother's side throughout the trip. Often he would worriedly watch their older brother all the while holding the family picture of Splinter when he had been human with his late wife and Miwa back when she had been sweet and innocent...before she had become Karai. Every so often the purple masked turtle would try and occupy himself by checking Leo's pulse just so he could confirm for himself that his older brother was still alive, obsessively readjusting the army blanket that he had draped over Leo in an attempt to keep him warm. And when he wasn't doing that he would look through the medical supplies in the red tool box he used as a first aid kit and also the stuff in his messenger bag as if to confirm for himself if he had truly brought everything needed.

Raph had closed his eyes in an attempt to try and get some sleep when he heard the tell-tale squeak of Donnie's med-box, and the cautious rustle of their current de facto leader cataloging its contents.

"Donnie…" The Red-masked turtle asked trying to hide any irritation in his voice. "That's the fourth time you've checked your med-kit in the past hour. If you're missing anything, wouldn't you have noticed by now?"

"Sorry," Donnie said in a defeatist tone as he closed the med-box and set it aside.

"Hey, D" Casey said. "I'm going to be making a food stop really soon so I'd be happy to stop by a rite-aid or CVS or something and pick up anything you need. Aspirin, Tylenol, more bandages, you name it."

"Thanks…that would be helpful." Donnie said with little emotion in his voice as he once again checked Leo's pulse. He didn't like how cold Leo's skin felt, being cold blooded it was highly imperative they got him somewhere warm as soon as possible, even then there was no guarantee that he would recover. Also the crack in Leo's shell concerned him as that could become infected if not treated. "In order to fix Leo's injuries I may need some things from a hardware store."

"What kind of things?" April yawned as she started to wake up

"Fiberglass cloth and resin, epoxy glue, sandpaper." Donnie said listing off the various items needed for shell repair.

"And how I'm going to afford all that?!" Casey asked nearly steering off the road. "It's not like I have steady employment."

"Why don't we see what is available in the barn first?" April said. "If there is anything we need, I have my dad's wallet with me. He gave it to me should…should anything happen to him….again."

Silence once again filled the cabin; Donnie sadly looked at the photo of their father when he had been human, standing tall and proud beside his wife and newly born daughter. What would Splinter think of him if he knew what he had cost this family?

_"You're leading us into disaster!"_ Donnie shamefully remembered himself yelling at Leo.

_"I'm doing what Splinter would want!"_ Leo yelled back.

Donnie bit back as sob at the memory, and now Leo was paying for all of it with his life. He had known Leo had a very traditional view, but he also had been tolerantly accepting of Donnie's ingenuity in the past. There had even been some weapons and things that he had been amazed at. But lately it felt that Leo trusted no one but himself and he really hoped…no he had wanted Leo at that moment to trust him and hear him out. The invasion could appear on their door step at any time, they didn't have time to seek out another place outside the city to make a new base. He really believed the best course of action was to stem the invasion at the source. But perhaps Leo's idea had been the right course of action, if he had agreed Leo's very survival wouldn't be hanging in the balance right now. And because of his foolishness the city over taken by the Kraang, a good portion of the population were mutants, and Splinter was gone.

"Okay guys," Casey said. "I'm going to a little drive through that I like to call 'Mc'D's'. Anyone got any preferences or should I just make some wild guesses. "

"McDonalds?" April asked

"Hey it's nearly nine at night, and we're orphans with a budget." Casey said. "Who knows when we'll see our dads and I guess in my case siblings again? Let alone the city, as far as we know…they may be gone for good."

"Casey!" April scolded.

"It's alright April." Raph sighed. "We want to believe that Splinter is alive…" He didn't need to finish the statement it weighed heavily on the hearts of everyone. Donnie screwed his eyes shut and curled into a ball at memory of the loss of their father. Raph gritted his teeth irritably, and April closed her eyes in remorse None of them wanting to say it because it would be the same as admitting it as truth, Splinter was gone and they were going to have to learn to live life without him.

* * *

><p>Casey pulled up in front of the menu board as the order box answered with a cheerful but tinny sounding "Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?" Everyone awake in the van tensed being eerily reminded of the Kraang's voices.<p>

"Um, yeah." Casey said. "I'd like a Jalapeno Double, anything you'd like April."

"A McDouble with a vanilla shake.'' She answered.

"And what about you guy's in the back, interested in anything." Casey asked.

"Anything's fine I guess," Raph answered "Mikey and I'd eat anything."

"What about you Donnie?" April asked.

"I'm not really that hungry." Donnie said glancing at her slightly before returning his attention to their wounded brother. "But…thanks." April eyed her friend in concern; he had been blaming himself ever since Leo led the Kraang away from them. And yet she was the one who brought the Kraang to their lair. If it wasn't for her they would still have their home, Splinter would still be alive, her dad...

"McDouble, two Big Macs, one cheeseburger, five orders of fries, one vanilla shake, and three chocolate shakes."

"So, one Jalapeno Double, one McDouble, one cheese burger, two Big Macs, five fries, three chocolate shakes and one vanilla." Was tinnally repeated.

"That's it" Casey affirmed.

"Please pull up to the window." The order box answered. Raph ducked Mikey and himself behind the driver's seat to avoid being seen by the drive through window cashier. Donnie also ducked below the windows to avoid detection. The bag of filled with burgers and a drink carrier of shakes were passed through the drivers side window by a smiling young woman before they were able to take off once again. It was only when they no longer saw the town lights of North Hamton that Donnie and Raph dared to sit up once more.

"We should probably wait to get to where we're going before we eat," April suggested glancing sadly over where Donnie was once again kneeling over his older brother and checking Leo's pulse. "We need to get Leo situated first."

* * *

><p>There was little talking the rest of the trip, the only speaking given was April telling Casey directions. Until they at last pulled up in front of a small three story cabin. The sky overhead was dark casting the house in pitch black. April opened the glove compartment and found a flashlight. She checked it to see if it worked before stepping out into the cold snowy ground, the light skimming over the bottom of the porch before she found a small depression between the porch boards and earth. She first shown the light into the depression to make sure there were not any creatures living in that space before reaching into the depression pulling out the house key, and used it to unlock the door turning on the porch light and family room as a sign the place was open to them.<p>

"Okay guys…" April said as she returned to the van and pulled side door of the van. "This will be our new home for the time being."

Mikey stirred and tiredly looked around him. "Are we there yet?" He asked groggily.

"Yeah, we're here." Raph agreed as he and Mikey crawled out.

"There are four bedrooms upstairs." April informed.

"Here let me help you with him, Donnie." Raph said as he helped to gently pull Leo out of the van. While they did that April ran to the linen closet and pulled out a set of sheets and blankets. She had just pulled off the dust cover and put the bottom sheet on one of the upstairs beds by the time Donnie and Raph entered the house and started upstairs cradling Leo's broken body between them.

"He can go in here." April said stepping out onto the landing.

The two of them carefully lay Leo onto it and helped April pile the blankets onto him.

"He should rest now." April said as she headed downstairs. "Come on, let's get settled and have some dinner."

"Check it out, one of the bedrooms has a bunk bed," Mikey cheered from one of the rooms "I call top bunk." In days past Raph would have run to claim anything that he felt gave him dominion over his brothers, best space on the couch, first slice of pizza, who got to choose the show that night. But this time his heart wasn't in it, instead he glanced in concern at Donnie who was sitting on the side of the bed examining the crack in Leo's shell. His younger brothers brown eyes looked stricken with grief and anxiousness.

For a moment he looked like he wanted to say something to the younger turtle, but instead he sighed and left the room. In the living room Casey was setting a fire in the fire place, while April came out of the kitchen plates in hand and the bag of fast food. Each sandwich was opened and placed on a plate while the fries were all dumped together on one plate for them to enjoy at their leisure. Opening the smaller of the wrapped sandwiches she placed it on one plate with some fries before heading upstairs again.

* * *

><p>"Donnie…" April asked as she came in. Donnie glance up at her before his eyes returned to his brothers sleeping face again. "I brought you some dinner."<p>

"Thanks April," Donnie said giving a pained but appreciative smile. "But I'm not hungry."

"Why don't I leave it right here okay?" April asked putting the plate with the McDonalds Cheeseburger and fries on the bedside table. "You can have it when you're ready." Donnie nodded his mahogany eyes never leaving Leo's sleeping face. His brother's injuries were deliberately designed to cause slow suffering before death, unless medical treatment was administered. Mikey had brought in Donnie's medical kit, and Donnie had set to work binding the worst Leo's wounds. But there was no telling what sort of internal injuries that Leonardo suffered from. If they were human they would have taken him to the hospital. Perhaps more work could be done on him to restore him to help. If Leo survived the rest of the night they would know for certain he had a fighting chance survival.

"He'll be okay." April tried to say reassuringly as she placed a comforting hand on Donnie's shoulder. "Leo's a survivor." Donatello placed a gentle hand on hers and looked up into her soft blue eyes, his brown eyes showing her that he was emotionally distressed with all that's had happened the loss of their childhood home, the loss of Splinter, and more heartache threatened to push him over the edge. April wished she could wiggle her nose or say something…do something to return everything to the way it was. But she couldn't quietly she left the room leaving the doors slightly ajar and wiped away oncoming tears as she returned down stairs.

* * *

><p>"We'll need to go into town tomorrow." April said. "Pick up some groceries other supplies, and while we are there we can look for anything Donnie needs to fix Leo's shell."<p>

"Provided Leo survives the night." Raph said as his eyes focused on the door his brothers were in. "He was in real bad shape after what the Shredder and his goons did to him."

"He'll be okay, Raph" Mike said sounding more like he was trying to convince himself. "Leo's strong, he'll survive this. He has to…"

"I hope so Mikey," Raph said solemnly. "I really hope so."


	2. Chapter 2

Sleep didn't come easily for the small orphaned family. Raph and Mikey had occupied one of the second floor bed rooms. After much shifting, tossing, and turning on Mikey's part, the two turtles felt comfort curling together on Raph's bunk.

April had settled to sleep in the bed that usually went to her parents when they came up here for summer. She also had trouble sleeping through the night. The silence only broken by the sound of the wind rushing around the house and the soft pat of the snow that fell against her window.

She was so used to the sounds of the city, the traffic going by outside her window. The music of the down town clubs, the sounds of the people who walking past her brownstone. The silence was just so foreign to her.

Every time she closed her eyes she would see a barely conscious Splinter getting thrown into that sewage drain and flushed away while they all helplessly watched in horror. Her father grinning at them and giving a peace sign seconds before screaming in pain as he was mutated once again. Her father's mutated form, trying to attack them or begging them for help, she couldn't tell. And then watching as the Kraang that had been her father slipped from the van as they took off, trying to escape Kraang prime and his perfected mutagen. The nightmarish memory of seeing the unfortunate people and animals that had been Kraangified as she escaped the city with her companions, the innocent families torn apart. Children crying in fright at sight their mutated parents, while parents, children, and loved ones looking around for those they have lost.

Casey and Raph had mentioned seeing a military group had been fighting Kraang Prime. So it was possible number of the innocent were rescued from the city that had given some hope that Casey's family may still be safe, but that couldn't be guaranteed.

Casey also slept restlessly in his room. His mind plagued by thoughts and worries about his father and sister. Were they alright? Were they able to get out of the city? Or were they casualties of the Kraang like April's dad had been?

Only one person was not able to sleep and that was Donnie. At one point close to dawn he slipped out of the second floor guest room where Leo resided, tip toeing past the other rooms, he descended the stairs and slipped outside. Closing the door behind him he walked to the chair swing in the yard so that he was sitting along the bench seat with his knees drawn up to his chest.

His mind hardly registered the cold, though his body shivered in the snowy autumn chill. Instead he just sat in the pre-dawn darkness, only a small blush of light in the distance indicated the rising sun. The sky was clear and everything looked like it would be a sunny. Donnie however took no pleasure in it; it didn't seem fair that the sky should be bright and sunny after all the tragedy that had taken place. It would be more appropriate for the sky to be gray and over cast; the clouds weeping torrents of rain and hail. Washing away the filth and rot and filling the air with the earthy scent of petrichor.

Splinter was gone, and while they wanted to believe Mikey's optimism that he was alive and well. They had to expect the worst. What would Leo say if he were to awaken and learn that Splinter was gone? Would he blame himself for not being there to prevent it? Would he lash out at April? Leo was still unconscious and had been comatose for hours. He still breathed, but barely. If things didn't improve…he didn't want to think about that, he refused to. Leo had to pull through…he was their leader, their big brother. Without him they were nothing…if Leo died Donnie didn't know how he was going to live with himself. As his words of "_You're leading us to disaster!_" still echoed through his mind.

The others might not blame him for Leo's condition, not in words at least. But he'd see it in their eyes, and their mannerism. Hints that of them thinking…believing Leo was hurt because he foolishly felt his Turtle Mech was the only option they had to stop the Kraang invasion. Leo died because he didn't have the means to restore him to the living. How can the others expect him to look out for them when he caused the demise of one of their own?

* * *

><p>Casey rolled over in his sleep. It was always something bothering him, it was too quiet, the room was too dusty, the sheets were too itchy, the blankets were not helping with the chill. Sitting up and stretching for what felt the millionth time he glanced out the window to see if the sun was up. That's when he noticed Donnie sitting forlornly on the chair swing outside. While he did have a rivalry with Donnie for April, he did admit the purple masked turtle was a good guy to know. Heck he'd even go as far as to call him a friend. Getting dressed Casey grabbed the quilt off his bed and went down stairs.<p>

* * *

><p>He didn't hear the door open or notice the approaching footsteps until he found a quilt being placed over his shoulders.<p>

"Geeze Donnie, we don't need two Turtles out of commission!" Donnie closed his eyes in irritation at the sound of his rival's voice. While he would openly admit the other guy was a good person to know, he had never particularly liked Casey all that much. But he couldn't resent him or April for that matter. While the ginger haired girl didn't say it in words, her actions had shown she had made her choice over who she wanted as her suitor. He knew from the moment April had prevented him from confessing her feelings, the moment she had hugged Casey and said she was worried she had lost him forever. It was in that moment he knew he had lost any chance of earning her heart. No…he had known ever since he had seen April and Casey at the ice rink together. He didn't want to accept it then; he wanted to hope there was still a chance that April would choose him. Still a chance to believe he wasn't fooling himself into hoping April would want him. But yesterday when he tried to confess his feelings to her, her statement of "You shouldn't talk, it'll only make things hurt more." it stung…it hurt more than words could say. But even then that paled in comparison to what happened to his family…what he cost his family.

Instead of returning inside Casey settled himself on the cold ground by the chair swing not facing Donnie, but sitting parallel to him. Emotionally Donatello both wished Casey would return inside leaving him to his misery; but appreciated the company at the same time.

"You know…" Casey started conversationally as the sun began its assent into the sky. "Being a city kid all my life, I always thought the rural way of living would have been kinda boring. But now that I'm here….it's kinda peaceful. The city is all hustle and action, but this…this is actually kinda nice."

"Yeah," Donnie agreed half-heartedly. "Unlike you…I've lived my entire life underground. Sunrises to me was sunlight filtering through the ceiling grates, the only smells were the smells of the sewage, as well as the incense and scented candles Splinter used to eliminate and mask the odor. I had never truly seen moonlight or the lights of the city before my brothers and I turned fifteen. And last night was the first time I had seen actual stars without them being blocked by the city lights."

"New experience for us both…" Casey said offering a small well-meaning smile before he let it fade. "How are you holding up, by the way?"

"As well as can be expected," Donnie sighed, his eyes looked sorrowful again.

"Yeah it must be tough seeing someone you care about has been brutalized within an inch of his life." Casey stated. "And worse to lose someone else you care about an hour later."

"What about April?" Donnie pointed out "She's lost her dad three times now, and this time I don't know how I'll be able to get him back."

"You'll find a way," Casey said trying to be encouraging. "April's always going on about brilliant you are, and she's always amazed by what you are able to create with stuff other people would consider as junk." A small ghost of a smile did cross Donnie's face; he knew Jones was trying to be comforting in his own way. Getting up he started to return to the guest room to check on Leo. Folding the quilt Casey had placed on his shoulders and depositing it on the chair swing.

"Say, Donnie…" Casey said. "Would you mind if I check the barn for that stuff you needed to fix Leo's shell? You said you needed sandpaper, epicsy glue and fiberglaze clothing and raisins."

"Epoxy Glue, Fiberglass cloth, and Fiberglass resin." Donnie corrected.

"Uh yeah." Casey said "I'll go see what's available in the barn, and whatever's missing April and I will get in town"

"Thanks, Jones." Donnie softly answered with some appreciation and vanished back into the house.

* * *

><p>Climbing the stairs he fought the urge to break down, his resolve had been slowly crumbling before Casey had come out to talk him. The conversation he had with the human boy just now reminded him that he had not only betrayed his family. He had failed April…he had restored her father's humanity barely a month ago and only for his efforts to be for not. Now Kirby was wondering the streets of New York as a hideous Kraang mutant, when he should be here…with them…with his daughter.<p>

Entering the bedroom where Leo lay sleeping however caused him to lean back against the door and grit his teeth. One tear squeezed its way out from his eyelids and descended down his face. The memory of Leo leading the Kraang away so Mikey and April can get him to safety. The memory caused the laser burn on his arm to sear painfully. Then the horrifying sight of Leo's battered form being thrown through the window of April's apartment; unconscious and barely breathing. The one thought that crossed his mind as both Raph and Mikey huddle worriedly around Leo's mutilated form was '_I caused this…_'.

As though he was certain the floor would open up and let him plunge into the depths of hell. Donnie approached the bed and gazed down at his brothers sleeping face. Sitting down it felt like something had grabbed hold of his heart and refused to let go. Tremors passed through his body as tears ran unbidden down his face. Donatello bit his lip to keep from crying out in grief and despair though he felt like doing so as he took one of Leo's hands in his own. "I'm sorry, Leo." He whimpered. "I'm so sorry."

* * *

><p>Standing up Casey got up and made his way to the storage building. Opening the large doors he coughed somewhat has he breathed in huge motes of dust. How long had it been since this place had been used. The whole building was full of junk, forgotten bits of broken machinery, even a motorboat with a busted motor and an old pickup truck. Perhaps once it was cleared out it could be a place Donnie could use as a lab.<p>

In the back was a work bench, with some rusty and unused tools. Casey figured that would be a good place to find sandpaper, and he was right as he almost immediately found several squares of the rough brown paper. Against one wall there were a number of chemicals and solvents, weed killers, bug spray, epoxy. Reaching into the shelf he picked up a couple small white tubes saying 'epoxy hardener'. Was that what Donnie needed? Looking around further he found some white meshy looking fabric and a can of fiberglass resin by some boat supplies. Being in the city and familiar with spray paint, he knew chemicals such as this did have acrid fumes. Donnie would more than likely need a face mask. The white ovoid cups were also easy to spot. Carrying the supplies into the farm house Casey set them down before knocking on the door to Leo's room.

"Come in." Came Donnie's voice but it sounded oddly raspy as though….had Donnie been crying? Opening the door cautiously Casey noticed the purple masked turtle rubbing at his eyes with the heal of one hand as though wiping away grit or possibly tears before returning to cradling his wounded brothers hand in both of his own.

"I uh…" Casey said feeling awkward as though he had just interrupted something. "I think I found all the stuff you needed. Can you check if this is everything?"

"Sure." Donatello answered gratefully as he carefully placed down Leonardo's seemingly lifeless hand and coming to the door to looking over each item. "Yes, yes this everything, thank you. This would be a great help."

"Hey no problem," Casey said glad to be of some help to his mutant friends.

"I'm going to wait until everyone's awake and out of the house before I get to work." Donnie pointed out as he glanced back at Leo sadly his eyes taking on an oddly stricken look. Casey however didn't think anything on it, though he did mentally note the small plate of food April had brought the tech-savvy terrapin still rested on the end table didn't seem to have been touched all that much.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ya know I am starting to wonder about how Donnie's taking all this." Casey said. "He hardly even bothered to eat that cheeseburger you brought him last night."

"I guess that is to be expected…" April said more to herself then Casey. "A lot has happened, he's was probably too stressed to consider food. Remember he did say he wasn't hungry when we stopped. I only brought it to him just in case he changed his mind. I know you bought it for that same reason."

"Whatever," Casey said not entirely buying April's explanation. "I can understand he's upset and all about what's happened to their home, to their brother, and Splinter. But I don't think the guy even slept last night, not to mention I found him sitting outside on the chair swing this morning. If things continue we will have two sick turtles on our hands, not just one."

"I'll be sure to talk to Raph when we get back." April sighed. "Donnie feels responsible for what happened to Leo, and has been blaming himself since he separated from us. But if it wasn't for me…"

"Don't blame yourself, Red." Casey maturely answered. "I don't entirely know what happened between Donnie and Leo, but I doubt it's really his fault. And as for you bringing Irma to their lair, you didn't know she was a Kraang. As far as you knew you were taking your friend to a place of safety. Raph and I encountered the Kraang outside, so those slimy pink freaks may have already been infiltrating."

April didn't dispute it instead she glanced out the window watching the country side went by as it slowly gave way to civilization. It was as they were passing through the town April noticed all the various decorations and Thanksgiving Day specials that she gasped.

"What is it April?" Casey asked in concern.

"Thanksgiving…" April said as if the holiday just popped into her mind.

"Yeah, what about it?" Casey inquired not really understanding what April was talking about.

"I had hoped on having Thanksgiving Dinner…" April explained. "At my place with my father, and the Turtles, Splinter, and of course you as well, and your dad and sister would also have been welcome provided they don't mind that some of the dinner guests weren't really human. But I had forgotten all about it with the pending invasion and all that's happened. "

"Oh…" Casey said beginning to understand. "I get it. Why don't we have a Thanksgiving dinner, just the six of ...I guess I should say the five of us now."

"But it's not exactly appropriate to celebrate after all that's happened!" April asked wondering how Casey can be so dense as to want something festive after all the tragedy they had experienced.

"It's not to celebrate…it's the principle." Casey said offering her a smile that just said trust me. "Yeah it's a celebration, but it's a celebration of what we are thankful for. I mean think about it 'Red', think about those pilgrim guys all those years ago. Imagine being trapped in a boat for days, a number of the people around you becoming sick and dying along the way, and then when all seemed lost they finally find a new land where they can make a home for themselves."

"Where exactly did you learn history, Jones?" April scoffed. "The story about the pilgrims is often romanticized; it wasn't just a group of people travel to another country and met a group of friendly Native Americans. The Plymouth settlers left England to escape religious persecution…"

"We'll aren't we like the Plymouth settler dudes in a way?" Casey interrupted. "Weren't we driven from our homes because of persecution? I mean, you, me, the guys. None of us wanted that bladed bastard or the Kraang here, all any of us wanted was to go about our lives and live like normal people? They were the ones who came to our home turf and terrorized us. And now we are forced to decide between staying in New York and either be Kraangatized or killed off with extreme prejudice, or settling elsewhere and still having our freedom. I may not have my father or my sister, but I'm thankful I've got you and the guys at least."

"Casey…" April said in astonishment

"I know," Casey sighed. "Forget it…its stupid."

"I was actually going to tell you you're right." April said with a smile. "We have lost people who matter, but we should be thankful the six of us have each other at least. I think having a Thanksgiving feast would be a good idea. And the holiday is still at least two weeks away so it we have plenty of time to sell the Turtles on the idea."

* * *

><p>The two humans traveled through the stores picking various food items, stewing meat, onions, and carrots for slow cooker meal. A fair sized turkey, potatoes, cranberry sauce, gravy mix, and stuffing, and a couple frozen pumpkin pies. The two teens debated over the idea of having green bean casserole and figured they were better off without it. They got bread for toast and sandwiches, a selection of lunch meats and cheese, pancake mix, eggs, even a couple of boxes of cereal one box of frosted flakes, and one raisin bran, as well as staples such as milk, and butter. Casey had attempted to get April in on the idea of getting a six pack of beer, but she adamantly was against it.<p>

"Seems to me you kids are getting enough to feed a small army?" The clerk almost laughed as he rang up each item.

"You can call it that." April said without smiling.

"Really? Where are you two from?" The clerk asked

"We're from New York," Casey answered causing the clerk to pause as he regarded the two teenagers.

"Were you in the mess that was going on over there?" The clerk asked in concern.

"Yes," April answered not appreciating casey's candor. "We lost a few loved ones in the invasion, Casey, myself, and a few others were able to escape with our lives.

"Oh my," One an elderly woman who had purchasing some cat food at an adjacent checkout counter exclaimed as she heard that. "Thank goodness the lot of you were able to escape that disaster." Opening her pocket book, the woman handed April twenty dollars. "Here, this isn't much but it should help you somewhat."

"Here," Another woman, this one in her mid-thirties. The woman handed April at least fifty dollars.

"I can't take this." April said trying to return the money.

"Please," The woman said. "Just take it, you'll need it." The clerk had hopped in the phone with his manager while several other store patrons offered what support they could to the two teens. Some offering money, some offering to help pay for the groceries the two teens were buying. April found herself overwhelmed by it all, it was just too much. She really just wanted to get their purchases and return to the cabin. Too much intrigue could very well lead people they don't want to their door step, which could endanger their makeshift family.

"The manager is allowing you to have all this on the house." The clerk answered with a caring smile. "You kids have been through enough for the last a couple of days."

The party wagon was loaded with their groceries. A local church had offered some clothes from their goodwill bin which the two teens were grateful for as they had left the city with only the shirts on their backs. And just before they pulled out of their parking spot the owner of a small doughnut shop ran up with a box of doughnuts for them to share with their companions.

Once they were out of town, April sighed. "I can't believe that just happened!"

"Yeah wasn't it cool getting all this free stuff?" Casey remarked.

"No!" April fumed! "The Foot Clan and the Kraang know we are friends of the Turtles, if someone sees something online about a group of people escaping New York…and there is a picture of us with it. If that person is associated with the Foot Clan, it won't take too much for them to put two and two together. It's too dangerous for us and even more so for our green shelled friends. If word spreads about a group of surviving 'invasion orphans', we might as well put up a neon sign just advertising to the Shredder and the Kraang 'We're hiding here! Come attack us please!'"

"Maybe all the charity is a one-time thing." Casey suggested. "I mean yeah that church said we are welcome to their goodwill bin whenever, but the groceries, the money, the doughnuts. People can't do that every time we go to town?"

"I guess…." April sighed.

* * *

><p>Returning home they found Mikey sitting on the chair swing by himself. The smaller turtle visibly brightened and waved to them the van pulled up.<p>

"Hey guys, need help bringing things in?" He asked.

"Sure," April said as the doors were opened and packages of food were pulled out and put away. "We're going to need to make this all last as long as we can? I don't want to go back to the store too soon."

The first thing that everyone noticed was the strong odor of chemical fumes which cause the two teens to wrinkle their noses.

"Oh sorry about that," Mikey said. "Donnie's patching up that crack in Leo's shell, he opened a few windows to ventilate the worst of it but it was still bad enough to for me to go outside. Raph's helping him with it."

"I see." April said as she opened a couple more windows. "How is Leo by the way?"

"Still unconscious," Mikey said. "Donnie said something about possibly needing the tub to make sure Leo is hydrated. Because it might help Leo heal faster."

"No way, man!" Casey said indignantly. "That's the only bathroom we've got."

"Relax Casey," April said. "There is a guest toilet underneath the stairs and we can find other ways to attend other bathing needs. Besides if it helps Leo, then that is worth a time without use of the bathtub."

"Aww, you didn't get any pizza!" Mikey whined as he looked through the bags of food.

"You guys need more to your diet then just pizza." April sighed. "I'm making beef stew tonight and I got a bunch of things for sandwiches. And I also got this...April said pulling out the turkey and putting it in the freezer. Ice Cream Kitty mewled indignantly as her home became more cramped then it had been before. She wasn't as upset about the cat as she had when Mikey admitted what happened when she had left it with the Turtles. And Splinter was less than happy to learn there was a cat in the lair at all. But both of them had faith Donnie would figure out a way to restore it to normal and then they would figure out what should be done with the feline afterwards.

After the Food was all put away, the box of doughnuts was opened and a kettle of water was put on for tea. Sitting at the table April picking out a crumb cake one while Casey grabbed one of the yeast ones with chocolate frosting. Mikey was so excited by the sight of the delicious rounds bread and sugar he didn't know which one to try first, but grabbed an apple fritter. He took a tentative bite before his eyes lit up and he happily inhaled the thing.

"Oh wow!" He exclaimed. "Hey Donnie, Raph you got to have some of these doughnuts that April and Casey brought home!"

"Not now, Mikey!" Raph yelled back from upstairs.

"Okay dudes," Miky tauntingly said as helped himself to a glazed doughnut. "It's your own fault if their all gone." It was ten minutes later when Raphael finally came down stairs and joined everyone at the dining room table. He wasn't as exited by Mikey about the doughnuts but picked up a cinnamon spiral.

"Uhh." He said with some digust after the first bite. "These things are too sweet."

"Yeah I know, right." Casey said before stuffing the rest of his into his mouth . April giving Casey a disgusted look as though asking what barn he had been born in, however the thought died as they heard footsteps come down stairs and the back door slamming shut.

It didn't take many guesses as to who that was as everyone glanced in the direction of the footsteps as they receded away from the house. Raph set down the cinnamon spiral down on and sighed.

"Donnie's really beating himself up about Leo." He said.

"I know." April agreed. "I'm worried…I mean you guys have gone through a lot lately, with the loss of the lair, Splinter, my dad, and Leo. He's currently the leader of your team…all this must feel like a huge weight on his shoulders."

"I hope Leo recovers for all oursakes..." Raph sighed. "If we lose him, I think we may lose Donnie too."

* * *

><p>Opening the trash bin Donnie tossed in the old paper plate he had found and been using as a mixing pallet for the resin and epoxy glue. The plate having the words Happy Birthday cheerfully printed on it almost felt like cruel irony. There was nothing happy about their situation, sighing he tried to calm his nerves by taking a walk. The air was warmer than it had been that morning, but it was still cold. In happier times he would have loved being able to hear the sound of bird song, to listen to the wind and blew through the trees. To identify the various species of flora and fauna that existed around the place. It was times like this that he longed for Splinter's firm but gentle presence the most. Was Splinter truly gone? Or was it the opposite, was Splinter alive and wondering about what had become of his four sons. Donnie could visualize him now, wondering around alone through the sewers and the streets of New York. Looking about for his sons who were nowhere to be found. And even though he prays his sons are safe and just unable to contact him...every passing day he begins to fear the worst. That his sons and their companions are gone...taken from him much as his wife and daughter had been.<p>

Donatello had been gone for a good twenty minutes before he finally returned to the house. To his surprise April stood outside as if waiting for him to return. The moment she saw him she rushed up and threw his arms around him. The purple masked turtle was taken aback by this gesture but he tentatively returned the hug, it was a simple embrace, not the heartfelt caring hugs he had given her in the past.

"I'm so sorry." April softly said. Donnie stiffened in her arms as a worried looked filled his eyes.

"Did…did something happen?" Donnie demanded.

"No." April said brushing away tears. "Everyone's fine, Raph is watching over Leo. And Mikey is watching T.V. in the living room. I just felt that someone should say it." Donnie smiled lightly in appreciation as he hugged her back once more.

"I'm sorry also." Donnie said softy as he let go of her and returned to the house. April sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. She remembered the days when Donnie's embraces had been so earnest and welcoming. Now it was as though part of him was lost to her and will never be the same again.


	4. Chapter 4

The days passed by slowly. April would glance in on Leo every so often as Donnie for the most part remained perched by Leo's side. Leo's mask had been removed and now rested on the bedside table as if waiting for its wearer to awaken and dawn it once more. His elbow and knee pads, the wrist and foot wrappings and the rest of his ninja gear had been removed leaving him naked or the turtle standard of nudity.

With each passing day, Leo never woke up his health deteriorated more and more. His body was slowly wasting away as his starving body devoured itself in the attempt to gain the nutrients it needed to stay alive.

Donnie was also of great concern; he had grown distant from everyone wrapping himself in a cloud of guilt and despair. He barely ate and hardly slept. Dark circles had formed under Donnie's eyes which had started to look sunken and his scrawny frame was showing signs of wasting away. He only talked occasionally if anyone directly talked to him, even then his brown eyes which had taken a haunted blank look to them would only stare through you as though he was speaking to no one. It was heartbreaking to watch, April felt like she was losing two dear friends at the same time and she didn't know if there was any to prevent it.

It was on their fourth day that Raph finally had enough. Marching into the guest bedroom, Raph grabbed Donnie by the arm, not roughly, but not gently either.

"Okay Donnie," He said as he pulled Donnie to his feet. "It's high time you've had a break." Donnie didn't notice that Raph had grabbed him, instead of protesting Donnie instead slumped over into his brother's arms, causing Raph great concern. "Donnie…Now you've done it." Raph sighed as he gathered Donatello into his arms and carried him next door to the bedroom he shared with Mikey.

Alongside one wall was a bunk bed while a cot had been brought down from the attic for Donnie to sleep on. Gently laying him on the cot, Raph draped a blanket over the purple masked turtle.

"Rest well, Donnie." Raph said placing a hand on Donnie's shoulder. "And don't worry about Leo, I'll look after him." Turning he closed the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Donnie's mahogany brown eyes slowly fluttered open. For short moment, Donnie had the feeling of restfulness. His mind was clearer and his eyes didn't feel so heavy. Soon after though, he realized that he was not in the guest room where Leo resided, he was in another room of the house.<p>

"Thank goodness…" He heard someone say in relief. Glancing to his left he found himself face to face with Mikey. His light blue eyes happy but his infectious smile was oddly subdued.

"How…" Donnie started to ask as he sat up. "How long have I been asleep?"

"About two days…" Mikey answered.

"TWO DAYS?!" Donnie asked in shock.

"At least that's how long it's been since Raph brought you in here." Mikey clarified. "He's been looking after Leo while you've been sleeping."

Donnie took a deep reliving breath. Leo was being looked after, if anything was wrong he was sure it would have been brought up, still he had to know.

"Has there been any change?" He asked.

"No." Mikey sighed sadly. "Leo still hasn't opened his eyes yet." Donnie nodded, it would have been surprising if Leo had miraculously woke up. Sighing he pushed back the covers, he swayed slightly as the days of starvation did make him feel light headed, but food still wasn't on his mind just yet. He had to see his older brother…he needed to know.

* * *

><p>"Well look who's up!" Casey snarked in his normal good natured humor as both he and April noticed both Mikey and Donnie on the upstairs landing, April stood up at once her concerned eyes focused on the taller of the two turtles.<p>

"Are you okay, D?" She asked.

"I'm functioning…" Donnie said giving her an appreciative smile. He was surprised that he didn't feel awkward around April. Perhaps he had matured with all that had happened. Perhaps even though he still loved her, his true feelings for her were nothing more than then love one would have for a close friend or a sibling, but blown out proportion by the whirlwind of a boy hood crush.

"That's good." April said in relief. She felt she was on the verge of mother hen mode, and as much as she wanted Donatello to sit down and endure her placing a bowl of soup, some toast, and mug tea in front of him. She didn't want to obstruct him from seeing his wounded brother.

* * *

><p>Raph looked up at his younger brothers as they entered, and nodded in acknowledgment before he turned his attention back to Leo's sleeping face. Mikey stood beside Raph watching Leo's face, hoping Leo their brother would miraculously just wake up and everything would be okay again. Donnie cautiously approached Leo and checked his sleeping brother's pulse. The small throb at Leo's throat was slower and a weaker then it had been before, a clear sign that Leo's body was beginning the process of shutting down. That is unless something was done...quickly.<p>

"April." Donnie called as he rushed to the door. "We need to get him into the tub, right away."

"What's up, D?" Mikey asked in concern.

"We need to get him hydrated." Donnie said as he returned to the bed and pulled away the covers, Raph was on his feet instantly.

"You grab his legs." Raph said as he took hold of Leo's shoulders. April was at the stair case waiting as the two teen turtles carried Leo out of the room taking great care not to jar Leo out of the room. Rushing ahead of them into the small bathing room, she turned on the tap letting the tub begin to fill as Raph and Donne gently lay Leonardo into the bath water.

Picking up a yellow sponge that had been resting in the tub, April lightly dabbed at Leo's smooth hairless scalp. Donnie shut off the tub water and his eyes falling back on his unconscious brother.

"That will keep him hydrated...help him heal faster." He said absently before getting up and leaving the room in a clipped pace. Both April and Mikey watched him leave, hearing the front door open and shut down stairs. April got up and slowly followed the brainy turtle out the door, while Mikey also left feeling useless the current situation.

"Hey April," He asked. "Is there anything you need me to do?"

"Could you get some dinner started?" April started. "There is some chicken soup on the shelf."

"Sure thing." He said as he entered the kitchen. Opening the shelf he picked up the family sized can of Campbell's soup, before returning it and deciding to make something better.

* * *

><p>Stepping outside, April knew there was only one place Donnie would go to. While living in the lair she had come to respect there were certain common areas of the lair that each Turtle more or less designated as their personal areas. Leo had the Dojo, Raph had the family room, Mikey had the kitchen, but Donnie's space was always the lab. Whenever he was upset or down he often found it helpful to focus on a project rather then what was bothering him. Partially this was good because it helped him calm down, but it was also bad because it also meant he was withdrawing from his pain...bottling it up...hiding it. And if that pain wasn't released it could destroy him. Not having the lab to go to anymore meant there was only one place he could be...the barn.<p>

Sure enough she heard the sound of things being moved aside in the darkened building and Donnie muttering to himself. Cautiously she entered the building; she shivered as she felt a chill in the air. It was not freezing, but a cold front was beginning to set in. April found the purple masked ninja clearing off the work bench in the back of the barn. Not wanting to spook him she carefully approached. Donnie stiffened as he felt someone unexpectedly touch his shoulder, but he didn't react otherwise. No one here was a threat.

April said nothing as she dropped her hand. If he said anything, that was his choice. But she would remain there to listen when he was ready. She didn't have to wait long as Donnie put cleared off the last pile of junk from the work bench. Before he rested his hands on top of the bench his eyes looking scared and lost. In years past whenever it really mattered he would have turned to Splinter or Leo for guidance. They were the rocks he clung to for stability, but now Splinter was gone and Leo was dying. That only left Raph and Mikey neither of whom were the most rational minded of the group.

Was this what it felt like for Leo as leader of the team? The feeling of the weight of the world on your shoulders as you took up the responsibility for the lives of several others in addition to your own. And this was on top of protecting the city from the forces of the Foot, the Kraang, or whatever threat made itself known. Knowing every move you made could put your loved ones or the life of an innocent in harm's way. He had known Leonardo's burden wasn't easy...but...if the mantle of leadership did fall to him in anyway. He hadn't wanted it to be like this…

"What I said to Leo was terrible..." Donnie said in a ragged whisper.

"He knows you didn't mean it." April said. "The stress of everything was affecting you both."

"But to say he was leading us into disaster, because he wasn't listening to my suggestion about the Turtle Mech." Donnie said his shoulders began to shake, his breath hitching as though he was having an anxiety attack. "If I had known this is what would happen...I...wouldn't have said it."

"You are doing what you can for him...You all are." April said soothingly. "And he's fighting to return. You know Leo much better than I do, so you would know he is a strong fighter and always has been. He won't give death the satisfaction of taking him without giving it a good fight. But if he doesn't make it I know he wouldn't want you to do this to yourself...Splinter wouldn't either. They would expect the three of you to have the strength to continue on and not let their deaths burden you. And as for the dispute the two of you had...I wouldn't be surprised if he's already forgiven you."

Tears filled Donnie's eyes as he heaved a sob, the walls he had been using to hold back his grief crumbling. April at once pulled him into a motherly embrace comforting him in the way only a woman could. Softly intoning a mantra of "It's alright...just let it all out. Everything will be alright." Donnie clung to her as he gave into his grief, the entire barn echoing with the sound of his cries.


	5. Chapter 5

Mikey had just finished making some tomato and basil chicken soup when April and Donnie returned to the farm house. Both of them looked emotionally drained, but otherwise okay. Casey had been glowering at the barn from the living room the whole time April and Donnie had been in there. And when the two of them entered Casey give Donnie a sour look that just demanded 'What exactly was my April doing with you in there?'

Donnie either maturely ignored Casey, or pretended not to notice him as April guided him into the kitchen and sat him down at the table.

"Hope you're ready for some soup, Donnie." Mikey said as he placed a couple bowls of some watery blood red liquid with green leaf bits floating in it down on the table. "And I'll have a grilled cheese sandwiches coming up in just a bit."

"Is that tomato soup?" April asked as she sat at the side opposite Donnie.

"Yep, that's Tomato basil chicken soup." Mikey proudly said. "I thought this would be better than the can of soup you originally planned."

"Mmm." April said as she took a taste. "Wow, Mikey you're quite the little chef."

"Do you want company?" Casey asked trying to remain pleasant, but there was a tone in his voice that that he wanted a rise out of Donnie. "Or is this little dinner date meant to be private?"

"You're welcome to join us Casey." April invited, though an eye also flicked to Donnie as though assuming there was going to be issue. Casey smirked and took a place next to April. Donnie didn't visibly react though there was a noticeable tension in the room.

"Raph! HEY RAPH!" Mikey yelled upstairs. "It's dinner time!" Five minutes later, Raph entered the room with a grumble that made the already tense room even more uncomfortable.

"Hey Donnie," Raph demanded. "Scoot over would you!" Donatello sighed through his nose but complied.

"Grilled cheese for everybody!" Mikey cheered as he proudly put a plate of buttery sandwiches that just oozed with golden yellow slabs of cheddar. Eagerly everyone picked up a sandwich, everyone except for Donnie who wasn't so much eating his soup as much as he was idly stirring it with his spoon.

"So how long do you think Leo would need to recover?" April asked.

"It's hard to say." Donnie answered taking a sip of his soup. He could feel a his stomach grumble as if saying 'it's about time' as it awaited the nourishment he had been denying it."He could be unconscious for weeks, maybe months. He's past the point where his injuries would have killed him. But he has still suffered from extensive damage and some of it may be permanent. I may need to put in a feeding tube to prevent him from starving to death."

Silence continued to fester as the group sat at the table. Before Donnie spoke up again.

"Some of the things I brought from the old lair were a few of the failed retromutagen samples, I had in the lab." Donnie said. "I think I might be able to create a mutagenic medicine to help with…" A hand slamming down on the table cut him off.

"No…Fricken…Way." Raph said. "It's too dangerous Donnie, how do you know that stuff wouldn't poison Leo or worse?"

"I have found the mutagen does have healing properties during my attempts at creating retromutagen." Donnie pointed out.

"And Donnie did cure me when I had shell acne." Michelangelo added.

"Mind you that wouldn't even have happened if you hadn't rubbed one of his failed batches of retromutagen on your skin." Raph stated.

"It's worth a shot," April pointed out. "I doubt he'd even suggest it if he didn't think it's possible."

"I still don't like it Donnie." Raph sighed.

"As a change of topic Red and I were talking earlier." Casey said through a mouthful of grilled cheese. "And we were planning on celebrating Thanksgiving."

"Wow cool," Mikey happily inquired. "Does this mean were going to celebrate Christmas and…and New Years?"

"Don't get carried away Mikey." April said. "New Years…the main celebration is held in New York and I don't think that would be happening this year. As for Christmas I don't know how appropriate that holiday would be given all that has happened."

"None of it is appropriate!" Raph said slamming a hand on the table once again. "If you haven't forgotten, Master Splinter is gone, Leo was seriously wounded and possibly dying. April, your dad is a mutant…again! Casey, your father and sister may also be in the same state as April's dad. And you guys want to have some stupid little celebration because the calendar says so."

"Hey man…!"Casey said with a hard swallow of his sandwich. "This is the best time to give props to Thanksgiving, because it's a celebration of what we're thankful for."

"Well so sorry if I don't feel we have anything that we should be thankful about." Raph returned. "I'll be more thankful once Leo recovers and we're able to return to the city."

"We have each other…isn't that something?!" Donnie pointed out.

"Maybe…" Raph said with a noncommittal shrug and a dangerous tone in his voice. "But were also stuck out here in the boonies just sitting on our shells while the city is crawling with Kraang and Leo in a coma in the upstairs bathtub." Raph's attention turned to Donnie.

"Tell me genius," He asked challengingly. "What's the plan if Leo doesn't wake up? Heck what if the Foot show up on our front porch tomorrow morning? You have a plan for that?"

"Raph…" April started to say in warning knowing he was treading dangerous ground.

"Hey, it's a fair question." Raph stated. Donnie gave no answer to Raph's question. It wasn't that he hadn't given the idea of Leonardo being unable to awaken some thought. But that was ground he didn't want to tread. He clung to the hope that Leo would awaken sometime soon and everything would be as it was. They mutated together, raised for fifteen years together, trained as ninja together, the four of them left the city with their two human companions. Even if Splinter was gone and all that awaited them was the forces of the Foot Clan, the six of them should still return to the city together. Unfortunately Raph took Donnie's silence as cowardice.

"You know what? You are actually the worst leader this team has had ever." Raph snarled. "You can't even hold a candle to the kind of leader Leo was because he's a thousand times better than you ever will be!"

"What's your problem Raph?!" Mikey scolded. Donnie however pushed back his chair and stood up to his full height.

"You think I asked for any of this?!" Donnie demanded angrily. "Do you honestly think I wanted what happened?! Because I didn't want any of it…I didn't want to see the lair destroyed…I didn't want to see Master Splinter getting flushed away…and I most certainly didn't want Leo to get hurt the way he was. And if there was a way to take his place I would take it in a heartbeat. As for being team leader I didn't exactly see you volunteering for the position Raph, you could have spoken up at any time no one would have stopped you. So you have no right to accuse me of things that are beyond my control!"

Turning Donnie fled out of the dining room and up the stairs. Raph watched his younger brother leave before turning to meet three angry pairs of eyes.

"Not cool man…" Casey growled. "Not…cool…"

"How can you say something like that," April agreed. "…to your own brother?"

"D doesn't need this, not from you!" Mikey said.

"Hey…I…I…" Raph started to defend himself, but everything that he tried to excuse it sounded selfish and insensitive.

"I know your frustrated Raph…" April said with a harsh sounding sigh. "A lot has happened, we've lost loved ones and every day we spend here is another day the Kraang have to take over the city. I understand that and I understand the desire to do more then what we are doing now."

"You got that right." Raph fumed as Mikey got up from the table and went upstairs to see if his immediate older brother was alright. "We should be doing more than hiding out here! We should be staking out the city! We should be looking for Splinter! We should be figuring out what we should do about the Kraang and the Shredder! We should…we should….!"

"We should be grateful that we have each other at least." April pointed out. "Be grateful Leo is alive..."

"And with Donnie being a bad leader…" Casey pointed out. "Yeah the guys not Leo…but at least he's trying."

"I think I just lost my appetite." Raph growled as he got up and started to head upstairs only to see Mikey standing at the entrance to the upstairs bath. As he approached Mikey regarded him, his sky blue eyes didn't smile at him like they usually did. But he indicated that Raph should watch what was going on. Inside the bathing room, Donnie was sitting with his shell to the door on the three footed stool beside the tub. In his hands he was holding what Raph recognized as the Hamato Family photo. Splinter's humanself standing and gazing up through the black and white photo strong and proud beside his wife and infant Karai.

"This is what I hate most about your absence, Sensei." Donnie softly said to the photo. "Whenever one of us was upset or down you always knew what we needed to hear most. I could use your guidance right now; I've been trying to look after this family while Leo is out of commission. It just feels like I'm expected to be exactly like Leo… but I'm not Leo and never will be…" Donnie paused a moment before glancing at Leo's sleeping face. "What would you have done?" He softly asked his unconscious brother.


	6. Chapter 6

As their second week slowly passed Raph let Donnie remained at Leo's side. The red banded turtle didn't feel jealous or replaced, he actually was glad to have the opportunity to rest. But he was concerned that Donnie would fall into the old habit of letting himself be controlled by his grief and despair. Majority of the time, Raph would try to occupy himself by exploring the premises with Casey or by himself. Other times he'd help by chopping fire wood for the evening fires.

Every so often Raph would look in on the purple masked turtle. Donnie would acknowledge his older brother occasionally. Not in words, but with a glance up as if letting Raph know that he was aware of him before turning his attention back to Leo. It was here that Raph noticed some of the ways Donnie was looking after Leo.

The first day after his blow up at Donnie he had stopped by the upstairs bathroom and saw what he thought had been Donnie holding Leo's hand in both of his own. As he continued watching he realized Donnie wasn't holding Leo's hand he was massaging it and all the while softly talking to Leo. Leo seemed visibly react to Donnie's voice and the ministrations, but not in a sense that said he was waking up. It was always a light turn of the head, or a soft exhalation… a simple gesture to let Donnie know that Leo was aware of his presence. Sometimes Leo's fingers would flex and seem to lightly close around Donnie's causing the purple masked turtle's mouth to turn up in a sad ghost of a smile before he continued to massage the appendage and slowly moving down Leo's arm to his shoulder. Carefully making sure the joints and muscles did not ware away because of lack of use.

When Donnie finally finished at Leo's shoulder Donnie moved to the other side of the tub and redid the same thing with Leo's other arm. When he was done with both arms, he moved to Leo's legs starting at the toes and moving up to where Leo's leg and hip connected. Even Leo's neck and head joints received attention. If Raph hadn't known that Donnie was their brother he most certainly would have pegged the actions his younger brother was performing as that of a lover. Simply because of how gentle and almost intimate the actions were.

Even the things Donnie would say to Leo were gentle and soothing. Sometimes Donnie was just telling Leo about some of the things that had been going on around the farmhouse.

"Mikey and Casey were having a snow ball fight in the yard. It was fun to watch Casey getting decked with more snow then he can handle. The two of them were soaked when they came in…" Donnie says with small laugh.

Other times it was a fond memory.

"Remember that time we all came down with the chicken pox or the 'Turtle Pox' as Mikey called it." Donnie would say almost wistfully as though bringing to mind a time and place that no longer existed in their lives.

Then occasionally Donnie would grow somber and voice some concerns about how long it's been since they had left the city. The state of things…and how he didn't know what they would return to if they ever did return to New York. Concerns he had for everyone in their house hold.

Other moments Raph would find Donnie with his forehead pressed against Leo's. This was something the four of them would do on occasion, particularly when expressing grief or anxiousness. None of them had an explanation for why they it, though Donnie did theorize that it was probably a trait they had retained from when they had been regular turtles.

Mikey occasionally would come in and sit with Donnie if he didn't have anything else to do or he wasn't able to watch Cronad or whatever that stupid show was. Mostly it was to bring Donnie tea or something to eat, but other times it was to give Donnie some company. April would also come by and lay a comforting hand on Donnie's shoulder or ask about Leo's condition. Raph was worried about these moments as he remembered April hugging Casey and saying "I thought I'd lost you forever" and deliberately doing so in front of Donnie. Raph half wanted to throttle his brother and make him see that April would never love him the way he wished she would and half wanted to tell April point blank that she should quit playing with his brother's heart.

* * *

><p>It was the middle of their second week of living at the farm house when Raph had made a huge lapse in judgment. Instead of joining everyone for breakfast that morning he instead made himself some toast and grabbed an apple before going out on a morning hike. When he had come home it had been the tail end of lunch. April had tried to get him to sit down and having some food. Instead he chose to ignore her having more interest in looking in on his wounded brother then chatting with the human girl.<p>

When he arrived at the bathroom door he caught sight of the back of Donnie's shell, however instead of gently massaging Leonardo's limbs he saw Donnie forcing part of a watering hose down Leo's throat. Compared to the all the gentle and caring things Donnie had been doing earlier, this almost seemed cruel and heartless as though he was trying to put Leo out of his misery in the most painful way possible. And that made Raph see nothing but red, before he knew what he was doing he had grabbed Donnie by the wrist and threw him against the wall. Donnie hit the wall shell first before a punch to the face sent the purple masked turtle falling to the floor, his brown eyes widening in fright at the angry look that was on Raph's face.

"How could you?!" He seethed as he approached the purple masked turtle.

"Raph…wait! You don't understand!" Donnie tried to back pedal towards the door. There was a clatter coming from the kitchen and footsteps approaching. 'Good' Raph thought 'Let them see what he had been trying to do to Leo.'

"What's there to understand…Donatello?" Raph growled spitting his younger brother's full name as he raised a fist prepared to enlarge the gap in Donnie's teeth. Casey rushed into the room followed by April and Mikey. Casey at once attempted to restrain the enraged red masked turtle.

"What are you doing?" Raph snarled knocking the human boy away causing him to stumble backwards into the bathing tub so that he was sitting on Leo's lap while his legs hung out awkwardly over the rim. Mikey and April were kneeling close to Donatello before Mikey got up and rushed to his older brother hugging him across the chest.

"Stop it Raph," Mikey said. "Just calm down…" Raph blinked has his mind cleared looking down at Donnie a moment as though confused as to what Donnie was doing on the floor. Donnie was holding a hand to his snout while there was a trickle of red appearing between Donnie's fingers. April got up from and left the room coming back with a couple sheets of Kleenex to help stem the blood flowing from Donnie's nose. Glancing behind him at Leo however brought everything back to him, the tube sticking out of Leo's esophagus.

"What on earth were you thinking, Raph?" April said as she helped Donnie to his feet while the taller turtle was still pressing the Kleenex to his nosebleed.

"Take a look at what he was doing to Leo." Raph said pointing a thumb over at the tub, the plastic tube sticking out of Leo's mouth.

"It's all right." Mikey reassured. "Donnie was just giving Leo a feeding tube." Raph blinked in surprise as though things suddenly made sense to him. He at once turned to Donnie for confirmation.

"I informed everyone about this at breakfast." Donnie said with is a sigh. "The effect and the process looks worse than it actually is and that easily could give you the wrong impression if you don't know what to expect."

Raph glanced between his brothers and friends as he came to the sick realization that when April had been inviting him to sit at the table and have lunch she had been trying to warn him about what Donnie was doing, so he wouldn't be surprised by it.

"You wouldn't have known what I was doing from sight alone." Donnie explained without accusation. "The process of placing and installing the tube does cause him discomfort and the same for removing it."

Casey was helped out of the tub by April. Both the ass and crotch of his pants were soaked through and running down his legs. In another time, everyone would have found this funny but instead they decided to let him keep whatever dignity he still had.

"Oh." Raph sighed feeling like a first rate jerk for what happened, before he moved away from his make shift family and out the door before he stuck his foot through something. Shoulders slumping with shame as he made his way downstairs and out the front door, that was twice now that he had let his frustration get the better of him. If Master Splinter had been there he would have lectured him about letting his anger control his judgment and before instruct him to go take another walk until he cooled down.

* * *

><p>Two hours had passed since the whole incident before Raph felt he was calm enough to return back to the farmhouse.<p>

"Hi Raph," Mikey greeted from the kitchen as he fried burgers in a skillet,

"Hey Mikey," Raph said as he greeted his youngest brother, "Where is everyone?"

"I'm over here." Casey called from the couch where he was watching the news. "Donnie's in the barn setting up his mad scientists lab and Red's upstairs looking after Leo."

"Dinner's almost ready." Mikey answered. "As soon as the fries are done we eat."

"Okay," Raph said as he turned back towards the door. "I'll go see if Donnie's going to eat with us or in his lab."

* * *

><p>Starting across the lawn to the barn, Raph paused in front of the door. He didn't enter right away as his mind debated over visiting his brother. Given the actions of earlier that day, perhaps Donnie didn't want to speak to him or see him. But Donnie also didn't really hold grudges…he could be vindictive sometimes but he wasn't a grudge holder. Growling a sigh under his breath, Raph made his way into the building and found his brother in the back of the barn. Donnie glanced behind him to see who had entered the building before turning back to setting up his work station.<p>

"Mikey wanted you to know that dinner's almost ready." Raph said feeling awkward. Donnie didn't say anything in response. He just made a simple hum to let Raphael know that he heard and understood. Message given Raph knew he could just leave and return to the house, but guilt held him in place finally he sighed in frustration and decided to just come out and say it just so it would be over with.

"Hey, Donnie?" Raph asked glancing back his immediate younger brother. "About the other night when…when I called you a bad leader and today when I thought you were deliberately hurting Leo…" He paused a moment just to make sure Donnie was listening. "I just wanted…I mean I want to….ahrr I'm no good at apologies. But I was wrong about saying you're the worst leader this team has had…you're actually one of the better ones. And if Leo could see how well you have been keeping this family together he would be proud of you…so would Splinter." Donnie was quiet for a few moments as he digested what his normally hot headed brother had said.

"No Raph…" Donnie gave a sigh as he rested his hands on the work bench his shoulders shaking as one hand traveled to the healing laser burn on his right arm. "You were right…I'm a…I'm a lousy leader. If it wasn't for me Leo and Splinter wouldn't have…"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa…Donnie" Raph said as he turned to Donnie in surprise. "That's not your fault….it's the Foot Clan that hurt Leo like this not you."

"Leo and I had differing ideas about how to stop the invasion." Donnie stated. "Leo wanted to establish a second base outside of the city and I insisted that my Turtle Mech was the only thing that was needed. If I hadn't let my arrogance get the better of me and just listened…Mr. O'Neil wouldn't have been mutated, Leo wouldn't have been beaten within an inch of his life, and Master Splinter…he…"

Raph sighed as he weighed his brother's words before approaching and placing an arm around his taller younger brother's shoulders. "I wasn't there so I can't judge the situation…but it's possible you could have agreed with Leo and the same result would have still played out. As for the disagreement, your idea was good and his idea of a second idea of a second base was good too. However I've found both you and Leo are at your best when you work together."

Donnie looked up and blinked, no longer sad or remorseful. He just found this answer completely unexpected particularly from someone like Raph. Raph have a half smile glad that he was able to pull his brother out of the funk he had climbed into.

"Your mech could have slowed down the invasion," Raph proudly said. "Bring it to a grinding halt for a time, gave the humans in the city a chance to escape the city. And then we could have established a base here, and organized a next plan of attack. And isn't that more or less how it played out…Yeah we've had some unfortunate losses but losses are also part of war. But if you allow all that we have lost weigh you down, then Splinter, Mr O'Neil, even Leo all they have suffered will have been in vein. As you said the other day 'We have each other' that is something we should be thankful for and Leo is alive which is also something we should be thankful for."

"Thanks Raph…" Donnie said with an appreciative smile.

"Don't get too used to it." Rap smirked as he gave Donnie a hug. "But you're welcome." Donnie smiled and returned the gesture. "Now come on, before the others come out here wondering if we're going to have a picnic in the barn."

As the two brothers left the barn behind them, Raph cleared his throat.

"Say Donnie," Raph inquired. "I'm not saying I want to do this myself, but could you teach me how to do that massage thing you do with Leo? So that way it's done…just in case you aren't available."

"I thought you'd never ask."


	7. Chapter 7

Thanksgiving morning had the inhabitants of the farm house open their eyes to the smell of cornbread baking in the oven. It was the smell that had Mikey and Casey drifting downstairs to discover what was making their mouths water. Only Raph had remained upstairs staying next to Leo. While Donnie resided in the barn starting to create the mutagenic medicine that he believed would help Leo.

The turtle and human entered the kitchen to find April getting the turkey started.

"Hey guys." April said not looking up at them as she pulled out the cornbread and checked to see it was done before she put in the turkey.

"Hey April." Casey said.

"I'll have the corn bread served up in a moment." April said as she washed her hands, not wanting to touch the cornbread itself after she had just handled a raw turkey. "Please have a seat at the table."

"Do you want me to get Donnie and Raph?" Mikey asked. April paused in thought.

"No that's okay, Mikey." April said as she brought out the round loaf of cornbread a serving plate as well as a bowl full of scrambled eggs and five smaller plates. Slicing one wedge and plating it along with a pat of butter and a helping of egg. "But it you can take this up to Raph that would be helpful." Eagerly Mikey took the plate and rushed upstairs, while April plated another wedge of cornbread.

"Want me to run that over to Donnie, Red?" Casey asked.

"No, I've got it." April answered not looking at the dark haired boy. "Feel free to serve yourself. Perhaps you can help with making the stuffing later one today." Casey silently grumbled to himself as April left the house and went to the barn.

"I hope he chokes on it." He said under his breath as he served himself a slice of cornbead and took a big bite only for piping hot wedge of buttered bread to burn the inside of his mouth.

* * *

><p>Raph's eyes were closed in a light dose where he sat on the stool beside the bathtub. He had told Donnie that he would be looking after Leo from now on. Donnie had accepted this without complaint, on the grounds that he be allowed to come at least once a day and make sure Leo was fed. Raph had allowed this and also allowed the joint massage to happen as well. While Raph had been taught how to do it, he preferred to let Donnie's hands be the ones who did it. It wasn't that Raph didn't know how to be gentle as he had been known to have a gentle and loving touch. But gentle wasn't really a word that described him most of the time. If you used the word to describe one of his brothers it would be Donnie and Mikey who bore the adjective.<p>

His shoulders and backside ached from sitting in a hunched position on the stool for hours on end. April had offered to bring up some magazines, and Donnie offered to see if there were any books on the sitting room book shelf that would be interesting. Raph declined both, not to sound ungrateful for their entertainment offerings. But he wanted to be alert incase Leo did awaken.

"Hey Raph," Mikey cheerfully said. "I brought you some breakfast."

"Oh….thanks." Raph said as he took the plate of buttered yellow bread and began to eat it with a less then enthused look manner. Mikey crouched by the tub and looked at Leo.

"If you woke up today, that would be something I'd be thankful for." Mikey softly said. " We really miss you, dude. And don't worry about us, Donnie looking after things. You just concentrate on getting better."

Mikey stood up retrieving the plate from Raph and taking it down stairs.

* * *

><p>April in the mean time trudged through the snow to the barn with a wedge of moist yellow corn cake in hand. Opening the barn she entered and walked to the back where Donnie was sitting at the work bench labeling canning jars for his attempts at mutagenic medicine.<p>

Cautiously she approached him, he still looked drawn and haggard from the time he had been looking after Leo. He was no longer starving himself and he had been fortunately sleeping more. He had taken the smallest of the guest rooms as his. It wasn't so much a bedroom as much as it was a box with a bed in it. He still looked tired, but part of this was due to Donnie keeping alert incase Mikey was having nightmares. Though April suspected Donnie also was having his own problems with sleep. She cleared her throat softly to get his attention, his head lifted up before his gentle brown eyes turned to her is askance.

April was able to catch a whiff of Donnie's scent as he did so. The calm savory smell of sage with the sour tang of lemon grass, combined with the sweet and clean smell of spearmint. She was surprised she hadn't noticed it before, it had seemed normal for the cloying stench of the sewers to always be there. Even when they bathed the scent of the sewers never seemed leave them. But now, living here surrounded by the fresh country air. It was like the revolting smell had finally lost its hold on them at last.

"I…I brought some breakfast." She said.

"Thanks." Donnie answered as he gratefully put down the masking tape he been using to create labels and took the plate from her and settled down to eat it. April smiled gratefully and started to return to the house when she noticed the label on one of the jars. The word "Retromutagen" and April felt her whole body grow cold as she started towards the house. She had no doubt that if he did create retromutagen it would be an attempt at restoring her father and Karai. But she couldn't shake the feeling that the same substance that he created to help save those who are victims of mutation could be the cause of his undoing.

She remembered the animalistic way Stockman had attacked her friends in attempt to get the retromutagen for himself. And if he was willing to risk mutating her in an attempt to return him, to human, the he was willing to murder Donnie in order to acquire the Retromutagen or worse…prevent him from restoring anyone else…to punish him for coming up with a cure first. Or all three, and if the Shredder learned that Donnie had discovered a means to reverse mutations, then Donnie's very existence would be threatened.

* * *

><p>Donnie came in from the barn around half past noon. It had been starting to snow about twenty minutes before which had caused both April and Michelangelo some concern as prolonged exposure to severe cold temperatures could prove fatal for reptiles. The first thing Mikey had done after Dontello had set his breakfast dish in the sink was usher Donnie into the sitting room by the fire with a blanket placed around his shoulders so he could warm up. Casey was sitting in the living room watching a football game.<p>

In the kitchen Mikey helped cut celery for the stuffing, while apple cider simmered in the crock pot. April basted the turkey, checked the pumpkin pies before she served up a couple of mugs of the cider. The first one she brought upstairs to Raph, which he accepted but like the breakfast earlier he wasn't as enthused by the offering as he would have been otherwise.

"You're welcome to come down any time." April invited. "Dinner would be ready in a few hours and everyone would be happy to see you join in."

"Thanks April," Raph stated trying to show some appreciation, but at that moment all he wanted was for Leo to wake up. "I know today is special to you...but I feel my place is here."

"I understand." She said with calm understanding, thought she didn't entirely mask her disappointment as her eyes traveled up to where Leo lay sleeping. It was hard seeing one of the people she thought of as a friend and brother look so broken.

Quietly she turned away and headed down stairs to the sitting room. Donnie was sitting by the fire place where Mikey had left him. She noticed with some concern Donnie was rubbing his throat as though it was causing some irritation. She knew this was not a good sign, but she didn't want to assume it was the start of cold. It could be allergy; it could just simply be a throat irritation. Mikey had joined Casey on the couch to watch the game.

"Are you okay?" She asked as she handed him the cup of cider.

"Just a small irritation," Donnie answered. "It's one of the joys of the colder months." April nodded in understanding.

"Hopefully that cider will help." April said with a smile. "I also have cold medicine if needed." Donnie nodded and went back to watching the fire as the snow continued to drift outside.

"Hey Red," Casey said as he started to make a show of rubbing at his neck. "I think my throats going; I could sure use some TLC right now." April just rolled her eyes and ignored him as she returned to the kitchen served herself some cider for herself and joined her friend in the living room. Casey gave Donnie a sour look as April sat close to the tech savvy turtle.

Donnie and April didn't talk with one another though; they just sat enjoying the fire. Both felt like the other wanted to talk…but they were afraid to say what they needed to because of the other people in the room and intimidated by the knowledge that to say would change their relationship completely.

"I'm going to go check on Leo." Donnie said as he got up.

"Okay." April answered with a smile that faded as soon as he left. Even with Casey and Mikey in the room, she felt she may as well be in the house alone.

* * *

><p>Donnie climbed the stairs and paused by the bathing room where Raph was watching over Leo.<p>

"Raph…" The red masked turtle looked up at Donnie in response.

"Hey Donnie," he said.

"Care to take a break?" Donnie asked. "Casey and Mikey are enjoying the game down stairs."

"Thanks Don," Raph gave an appreciative half smile. "But if it's all the same…I feel my place is here."

"Okay." Donnie answered before he cleared his throat.

"Are you feeling okay, Donnie?" Raph asked in concern.

"Just a little under the weather I guess," Donnie sighed. "I'm going… to go lie down." Walking down the hall to his room, curling down on the bed he was asleep in moments.

* * *

><p>Five-o-clock rolled around before everyone knew it and dinner was ready, April called Casey to set the table and Mikey upstairs to get his brothers. Mikey obediently went upstairs to invite Raph down for dinner and then later compromising by saying that someone would come up and bring him a plate. He then traveled to Donnie's room.<p>

"Dinner time, D!" Mikey enthusiastically announced as he threw open the door. Donnie groggily opened his eyes and sat up in bed. Right away Mikey knew something was wrong.

"Donnie?" Mikey asked in concern.

"I'm okay Mikey." Donnie answered as he started to get up before he started to give a wet sounding cough.

"That sounds more like someone should stay in bed." Raph answered as he got up from where he was sitting and approached.

"I'm fine Raph." Donnie insisted though it was hard to disguise the exhaustion in his voice. Raph however barged past Mikey and rested his hand against Donnie's forehead.

"You sure you didn't catch something, dude?" Mikey asked in concern. "It started snowing twenty minutes before you came in from the barn."

"I thought as much." Raphael said as he felt the abnormal body heat radiating from Donnie's body. "You're running a temperature."

"I wasn't in the barn that long…" Donnie insisted.

"Yeah, since seven this morning." Raph said pushing Donnie back into a prone position. "You know you are sensitive to the cold. The best thing you can do is stay flat under the covers, that is unless you want to share the tub with Leonardo. Mikey inform April, Donnie has a cold and will not be joining everyone for dinner." Mikey saluted Raph and went off to do just that.


End file.
